Before hitting the road, I pack a bag full of prizes. The idea is to hand out each child a small prize each day to keep things exciting and prevent dullness from setting in the car. I first heard this idea long ago and immediately thought, "What a fun idea!!" But then I was concerned that this habit would lead to an entitlement attitude. Here's a few things I've done to provide excitement that prevents whining while avoiding setting an expectation of being showered with lavishiehnsss each day.
1. The rule is that all the prizes are small - both in size and price. We're not talking a new DS game or anything here. I'm talking stickers, lollipops, dollar store toys, matchbox cars, etc. I generally purchase things that are designed to be handed out by the dozen like the silly toys that are given at birthday parties. The beauty of keeping the items cheep extends beyond the protection of the budget: Chances of each item successfully making it home are slim to none. Things fall out of the car, get left behind at rest stops, or simply fall into a black hole. While I want the prize to bring happiness, I don't want it to be something that the kids and I can't shrug off and say "Oh well" when the inevitable happens.
2. Although I say "A Prize a Day" I actually use that term a little loosely. Really, it's a prize for the long driving days. We've had times that traveling from Point A to Point B would take 3 or 4 days and all the time we had to travel that distance was 3 or 4 days. We couldn't afford pulling over to stretch our legs and just have a little fun. On those trips, we definitely handed out a prize every day. On the other hand, there are the trips that we've got 8 days to travel and it won't take 8 days to get there. Those are the trips when we make little detours to add in something fun and stretch our legs some more. I tend to not hand out a prize on a day like that. Sometimes, I count the souvenir we purchase as the prize for the day. Sometimes I count the toy from the fast food meal as the prize for that day.
3. I keep this aspect of our trip unpredictable. By now, my kids know that I pack little hand-outs, but just when and how the surprises will be distributed is ever-changing. Sometimes I give the prize of the day as we get in the car for the morning just as a "Mom and Dad sure love you -- here you go!" gift. Sometimes I wait until all existing forms of entertainment have been exhausted and give them out as a "Sorry that you're bored -- maybe this will help" pick-me-up. Sometimes I wait until the very end of the day to give a small gift as a reward for the good behavior. Occasionally I'll tell the kids that I've got something for them, but that they need to earn it by not arguing for X amount of time or by reading for Y amount of time.
4. Think through EACH item. Imagine all the things that could potentially go wrong with the family dynamics with everything you offer. Small bouncy balls are not permitted in our car: I'm sure you can imagine for yourself the reason for that. I once purchased silly putty for my kids thinking that it would be properly contained. But when half of it ended up ruining the car's upholstery and the other half was left in a pocket of a pair of shorts and ruined that, there was some lecturing and sadness involved when we should've just been having fun. If you have more than one child, don't provide anything that could possibly be unequal. Nothing ruins the joy of riding in a car together like a child complaining that their prize isn't as ____________ (insert adjective here: big, cool, yummy, colorful... you get the picture) as their sibling's prize. Identical prizes are great so there's no question about equality, but then you have the issue of keeping track of which toy belongs to which child. It seems easy until only one toy is found exactly in the middle of the children and all the children involved claim it. If you go with identical, save yourself a headache and label it beforehand.
5. As I mentioned before, I have very little patience for the entitlement attitude. By now my kids know that I pack treasures for them, but they're never really too sure when or where or how these prizes will be made available to them. They do, however, know that if they ask for one, the fulfillment of that wish will be delayed. When I'm asked, "Are we going to get a prize today?" I generally play dumb and ask in return, "What in the world makes you think I've got stuff up here that I'm just going to hand to you?" When the eye-rolling is over and they've forgotten all about getting something, I once again offer the toy/candy for the day. By that time, my offering is met with gratitude instead of expectations.
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